The Parent Trap

Even after having been in South Africa for more than 18 months, I still am left open-mouthed and on the verge of tears at the tragedies occurring here, especially to children.  We started our school year on Wednesday (South Africa’s school year runs from January to December), and I wanted to make a concerted effort to get to know my learners.  From my experience, the more you know about a person, the better you can understand them and, in my case, the better you can help/teach them.

For this reason, in class today, I handed out a sheet titled “About You” in which I asked for various pieces of information such as the learner’s name, surname, date of birth, address, hobbies, etc.  My class period occurred right after lunch break, so when I entered the room to begin the lesson, only 13 out of 25 learners were present.  One of the things I work very hard to teach the learners, aside from my economics lessons, is punctuality and the inappropriateness of “African time” in regards to school, business, and appointments.  I, thus, have a policy that if you are not in the classroom when I begin teaching, the door is closed and you have to wait outside until my period is over.  That, of course,  meant that almost half the class was kept outside.  Harsh?  Yes, but it’s only the second day, and I know will they come around.

Anyways, I spoke to the 13 learners present about what I expected from them and what they could expect from me.  I then spoke a bit about how they needed to already be looking ahead to the year-end exam and making plans as far as further education and careers (I teach grade 12s).  I felt the session went very well, and at the end of the period, I collected the “About You” papers, returning to my office with a good feeling about my learners and the upcoming year.

Later in the afternoon, I sat down and began reading the learners’ information and entering some of it into my computer.  It was then that I was confronted with the full gravity of the situation facing my learners and the community where I work.  On the “About You” sheet, I had put lines for the learners to list their parents’ names, phone numbers, and jobs.  I was aware that some would be without parents, so I had also added another line asking who they lived with and the contact information of this person as well.  Like I said, though, even though I’ve been around it for 18 months, and know that it occurs, the sheer numbers were mind-blowing.

Of the 13 learners that I collected sheets from, 9 (69%) listed no father.  Of these, 5 (38%) also listed no mother.  From their comments, I know for a fact that 2 of the learners who did not list any parents, are orphans.  It is likely that the other missing fathers and mothers have also passed away, though it is also possible that the children were simply abandoned, which is especially prevalent with fathers.  Whatever the case, of my 13 young men and women, only 4 (31%)  have both parents alive and are in contact with them, and only 2 (15%) actually live with those parents.  All the other 11, live with their single mother, an aunt, an uncle, a grandmother, or a grandfather.  Of course, making extrapolations based on a sample size of 13 is not the most responsible of statistics, but I think anyone living in South Africa can tell you that those numbers are indicative of a large part of South Africa's population.

Now I’m not an incredibly emotional guy, but seeing numbers like that made me want to cry and punch a wall, all at the same time.  It is just difficult for me to fathom that so many of these kids are being deprived of a father and mother, and of the love, support, and stability that such an arrangement provides.  I have not seen my mom or dad in person for 18 months, but I have at least been able to talk to them by phone and see them by Skype many times during that period.  I have at least had the chance to know them and be cared for by them throughout my entire life.  I honestly cannot think of myself or who I would be without my parents.

That’s why it angers me that so many of these kids, through no fault of their own, have had these circumstances forced upon them.  They had and have no choice in the matter.  They simply have to make do with the situation.  This, of course, is by no means an emotion unique to me.  It is something I have heard echoed by several other of the American volunteers.  One even made some interesting comments (I might not be getting these entirely correct, and my apologies if that is the case) to the effect that he had always been somewhat suspicious of people who were outspoken about the importance of the nuclear family, as it seemed to be a judgment and criticism of single moms.  Having been here, though, and seen the effects of so many broken families, he said that he realized how much marriage and its role in child-raising serves to preserve a stable, successful society.

The thing that makes it all the worse is that it doesn’t have to be like this.  Even if a person is HIV-positive, if he/she gets tested and knows his status, he/she can take drugs called Anti-Retrovirals (ARVs) that help keep the virus at bay and allow most people to live long, fruitful lives.  Unfortunately, because of the stigma of HIV, many just never get tested, and then die young from “unknown causes”.  Secondly, even if a person does have a child unexpectedly or out-of-wedlock, that does not have to prevent him/her from still taking an active role in that child’s life.  Parentage should entail some amount of responsibility whether we like it or not.

The funny thing is that even though the learners I work with sometimes annoy and frustrate me to no end, I am still sometimes in awe at their ability to cope and survive in such horrid circumstances.  True, many of them have never known anything else, so it might not be quite the herculean task that an outsider sees it as.  Regardless, though, life in a township is not easy for ANYONE, and certainly not for a young man or women who has lost his mother and father, or maybe never even knew them.  For the sheer fact that they continue to get up every day and live their lives, I salute them. 

They just better be on time to class.

Is it getting any better?

To anyone who has been checking the blog over the past several months, you will have noticed a conspicuous lack of activity.  This was partly due to the fact that I got burnt out on blogging and Peace Corps in general, and partly because a solid blog post usually takes me about 3 hours to complete from start to finish.  Despite what some may think or say about my writing abilities, I am not a natural writer i.e. someone who can spontaneously pen a long and in depth piece in the course of 20 or 30 minutes.  No, when I sit down to compose a post, it is a process of deciding which topic to write about, devising a clever title, organizing my thoughts, writing, and then revising, revising, revising…  Because of this, I know when I sit down to my computer, it is going to be a while before I get back up.  That knowledge, combined with the lack of energy and motivation I was feeling towards the end of the year, was enough to continually prevent me from ever making the first key stroke.

After a long, relaxing vacation, though, I am feeling much more refreshed and positive about the remaining 8 months of my Peace Corps service here in South Africa.  I also, during reflections over the holiday, made a resolution to be more regular about my posts.  In order to accomplish that goal, however, I have realized that it is going to be necessary for me to shorten up my writing.  As much satisfaction as I feel when I do thoughtful 2500 word piece, I simply cannot do that at regular intervals in conjunction with all my other responsibilities.  For that reason, I have decided to make the blog a bit shorter – characterizing recent events and still offering some interpretation but without devoting an entire essay to such analysis.  The result may be less profound, but I think my readers would rather have lighter pieces that sometimes provide little more than an update as opposed to an insightful piece that only appears every month or two.  That’s not to say that I will never do a longer piece of hard-hitting quality – just don’t expect it to happen every time.

Today’s topic comes as a result of me reading through the Peace Corps Times, a quarterly publication from Headquarters in Washington that we receive in the mail.  The cover shows a young, smiling white Peace Corps volunteer standing next to a black mother and father as they weigh the couple’s adorable little baby using a scale constructed on the branch of a tree.  The caption speaks of a program called “Saving Mothers, Giving Life” which is a partnership between the Peace Corps and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).  The other article on the page shows another white Peace Corps volunteer instructing a black man on gardening inside of a used tire (tyre).  The text below explains that the American is part of a program where he shows patients with nutritional deficiencies in a hospital in Dakar, Senegal how to grow vegetables.

That may only be the cover of the newspaper but it is indicative of the rest of the content.  Page after page contains happy stories of how Peace Corps is making change here, Peace Corps is creating better lives there.  And it’s not just Peace Corps.  Look at the publications or reports from any organization involved with development such as the US Agency for International Development (USAID), Volunteers in Service to America (VISTA), and the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC), and I’m willing to bet that you will see and hear much of the same.  The basic message is “Look how much good we are doing.  Look how we are creating a better world”.

The question I have asked myself over and over, however, since I arrived in South Africa, and which I’m sure many other people have asked as well, is “If we are doing so much to promote progress, making use of all this new technology, why are there still so many problems in the world?”  It’s hard to square the happy reports I just mentioned with the cold hard facts of poverty, starvation, war, disease, discrimination, and violence that plague large portions of the world.  How can this be if we are devoting so much money and effort to development and have so many stories of success?

I think the answer is two-fold.  The first part is that much of what you read from development agencies is BS.  It’s very easy to take a photo-op with smiling faces and talk about the good intentions of a program – it’s quite another to take a look at the cold, hard statistics and see that you might not be doing any good at all or might even be making the problem worse.  Recognizing that a program, regardless of how well-intentioned, is actually a waste of time and resources, is not what people want to hear, and it certainly is not what delivers more dollars from the government and private donors.  I do not want to take the negative point too far, because like I said, most people’s hearts are in the right place.  Many folks in the developed world WANT to help those less fortunate, they WANT to donate money, they WANT to promote change.  Unfortunately, if there is one thing I have discovered in my 18 months here in South Africa is that development is not simply a result of access to resources.  It is not simply a matter of giving people the tools to succeed and then letting them go.  It just doesn’t work that way, but we want to believe that it does.  Other Peace Corps volunteers as well as myself, are more than capable of writing glowing descriptions of what we have done and accomplished so far, especially if it involves applying for scholarships, graduate school, or jobs, but the hard truth, is that most of us have accomplished very little in terms of immediate measurable progress.  I am confident that I am going to positively and permanently impact the lives of at least a few people during my time here, but if I am to be brutally honest, the ultimate effect I have on South Africa and even on my town is going to be minimal.

The second reason why so many problems of such magnitude persist despite the efforts and supposed evidence of change being made is that much of what is touted as change is not sustainable.  Again, you are very likely to see a story about a program started by a foreign development worker to improve the lives of local people, but you are probably not going to hear about how that program collapsed as soon as the worker or development agency left.  The fact of the matter is that creating anything truly sustainable is incredibly difficult.  The reason is that the programs that you start are viewed as just that – YOURS.  The locals think its fine and dandy for you to start this and that, especially if it helps them out or brings an infusion of cash, but most times they do not take ownership of it.  It is something started by someone else, and they are not motivated or interested to keep it going once the initial impetus is gone.  I’m pretty confident that if you went and took a look at the projects that most Peace Corps volunteers are involved in during their service, 95% of them fail within a year of that volunteer leaving.  I would be interested to take a look at issues in years past of the Peace Corps Times and follow up on just how many of the projects mentioned are still functioning.  If they are still functioning, I would like to know how many are functioning independently of foreign management or funding.  Again, I would say the number would be close to zero.

Now, I don’t mean to be Mr. Scrooge, especially so soon after Christmas.  Some are probably asking whether maybe my girlfriend broke up with me or why the hell I am still in the Peace Corps if I am writing such things.  I don’t want people to get me wrong.  I believe in the Peace Corps, and I think it is a valuable organization.  I just have come to believe that is more valuable because of the way that it helps to shape the Americans who serve and promote a positive image of America abroad, rather than the actual impact it has on the communities it tries to serve.  I am from Texas, and we are a blunt people.  I have never believed that sugar-coating things is a good idea.  For that reason, I think that it is best for everyone if we face the facts.  Development is hard.  If it wasn’t, the field wouldn’t even exist anymore.  It is a tough truth to swallow that many times if not most times, we do not experience the success we hoped for or expected.  That doesn’t mean that we stop trying.  It simply entails that we take stock of what worked and what didn’t and re-direct our efforts accordingly.

P.S. For those of who are still convinced I’m a tireless curmudgeon, who thinks no Peace Corps volunteer, and certainly not myself, is making any difference, read this: 

I just got back the results of my school’s year-end examinations to find that 60.6% of the grade 12 learners I was teaching in economics, passed that subject compared to 30.8% the year before.  That is compared to the grade 12 pass rate across all subjects of 39% which was only 4% better than the 2011 number of 34%.  I don’t want to act like that was all me, but I’m pretty sure there are some South African kids in the township who can now explain “comparative advantage” who wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.  Boo-yah.

Also, to keep the feel-good train chugging, I just found out my older brother’s wife is in labor to give birth to their first child and my parents’ first grandchild.  Congrats and best of luck, James and Kerry!

South African English Word of the Day

pecanut – pecan

I just cannot get enough of that pecanut pie!

For more details of my adventures in South Africa, follow me on social media:

Facebook: facebook.com/cosmopolitantexan

Twitter: @cosmotexan