Peace Corps: Saving the world while destroying the world's forests

Ok, so perhaps the above title is a bit harsh, but I think I would be alright if I never had to complete another piece of paperwork.  Apparently, the Peace Corps and South Africa do not simply allow you to waltz into DC and Johannesburg because you have a charming demeanor and a smiling face.  No, no.  They put you through a cruel boot camp of forms and applications to separate the strong from the weak.  I'm convinced that filling out all the various papers is as much of a psychological test to see if you can maintain your sanity as it is ensuring that you are not a criminal and that they have a record of your service.

Perhaps the readers would appreciate a little background.  Now that I have been accepted into the Peace Corps and confirmed my assignment to South Africa, there are a myriad of new tasks to be completed prior to my departure.  An updated resume relating to my educational assignment had to be composed in a specified format and an "aspiration statement" had to be typed outlining my goals for my service and what my plan was for accomplishing them.  Both of these were emailed to the people in South Africa to give them some initial impressions of who this tall, gangly white guy is that is about to descend upon their country.

Once that was completed, I had to move on to securing my passport and visa.  Even though I already have a valid US passport, apparently because I am now working for the government, I have to get a different, special passport for use during my service.  In order to do this, I had to figure out which form to fill out based on a number of criteria, complete it online, and then print it out with its special processing bar code.  I then had to fill out a special Peace Corps passport form that says I don't have to pay any fees for the issuance of this new passport.  To top it all off, I have to send in my existing passport as well.  Seems sketchy, I know, but I suppose you do as you're told when you work for the Man.

As for the visa, my Peace Corps packet I received in the mail did not contain the forms for South Africa because when they sent me my documents, someone in DC had apparently not had their coffee that day, and accidentally packed a bunch of stuff relating to Cambodia.  So I had to get an email from Peace Corps with the necessary South African documents included as attachments.  The multiple page visa application was duly printed off and filled out (No, South Africa, I have never been judicially declared incompetent).  I, then had to make a journey to my local Walgreens to get 4 new photos taken for the passport and visa applications (On a random note, can anyone explain to me why in the age of digital cameras, they still tell you to come and pick them up in 30 minutes?)


Once all the necessary materials had been gathered, I killed a few more trees making copies of all the documents to be sent off and then spent probably 30 minutes going over the instructions for everything to ensure that I did not commit any one of the 5,000 mistakes they warn you not to make.  Decently satisfied with my ability to follow directions, I set about to do the actual mailing.  The Peace Corps included a UPS envelope and airbill in their packet which I was supposed to use to send all of my documents to Washington.  One problem: I have never sent anything with UPS or FedEx before and had absolutely no idea how to do it.


To solve the problem, I drove over to a local shipping business, with said trip not at all influenced by the fact that an attractive young blonde works there.  Upon arrival, I expressed my ignorance to said blonde, who was more than happy to show me how to fill out the airbill.  I'd like to think that my casual mention that it was for the Peace Corps, which I was joining, impressed her so much that she divulged to me that I could drop the package off at Office Depot for free and not have to pay their business's $1 drop off charge.  Am I good or what?

With all of that completed, I drove home, satisfied at a hard day's work, hoping that everything had been completed correctly, trusting that my passport and visa would be processed in time, and praying that I was done filling out forms.  I then arrived home, only to be confronted by, what else?, forms relating to my insurance and finances while abroad.  Sorry trees, I guess it can't be helped.