Whose culture is it anyway?

I am now in Pretoria, South Africa’s executive capital (judicial and legislative functions are in other cities), and, while I am tempted to tell other stories of why nothing in South Africa is easy, I will hold off so as to prevent my blog from becoming a rant.  No, today, I am in a more philosophical mood, brought about by an experience I had this morning on my way to sightseeing activities around the city. 

My friend and I were trying to figure out how we could catch a bus to the main part of the city, so we decided to ask a Black lady who was sitting at one of the bus stops.  I approached and said “Excuse me.  We are trying to figure out how to get to Church Square.  Do you know if we can take a bus to get there?”  The lady looked at me, completely disregarded the question, and then said somewhat condescendingly, “Hello.  How are you?” 

I’m sure many of my readers can realize from such a response that this woman was indicating to me her offense that I had not greeted her before asking my question.  This actually is not the first time this has happened to me, so I knew immediately what she was getting at.  I said I was fine and inquired how she was that day.  She said she was also fine.  I then had to repeat my question, which was followed by about a minute and a half long discussion among the ladies at the stop, with the end conclusion being that we were told we needed to walk a block farther down to another bus stop.  Anyone who read my last post will not be shocked that a block farther on there was no bus stop, and we had to continue walking for a bit before coming to a place where we were finally able to catch a bus to Church Square.

As I mentioned before, though, this is not “Nothing is easy in South Africa: Part 2”.  What intrigued me, and to be quite honest, also angered me, was that the woman we asked for assistance felt that my act of not greeting her in the way she thought was proper, was a serious breach of behavior.  Such a serious breach even that she felt it appropriate to completely disregard my question until I carried on the conversation in the way she wanted.  We thus had a situation where she thought I was being rude for not greeting her, and I thought she was being rude by not answering my question.  That, ladies and gentleman, is what we call a culture clash.

Now, some will say that I am an American, and that we are naturally brash and rude in our delivery, which is what resulted in this.  That may be true to some extent, but I am an American from the southern United States.  Anyone familiar with America will tell you that people from the South have a reputation for being perhaps a bit friendlier, less cold, and more keen on conversation and relationships than our countrymen from the North.  I would like to believe that is more or less an accurate description of myself.  I did not simply walk up and blurt out my question, but rather, in what I considered to be a very polite fashion, approached slowly and said “Excuse me”, before actually phrasing my question.  In my mind, that was sufficient.  Anything more, such as being required to have a whole conversation with this person I have just come into contact with and will be leaving in a matter of seconds, especially when all I was asking for was a simple piece of information, is silly and a waste of time.

Of course, from the woman’s perspective, by me not carrying on all the formalities, I’m sure she thought that I was being brusque and not showing that I valued her.  As I said earlier, this has happened to me before, so I have come to know the great importance Black South Africans place on greeting (I have not found White South Africans to be as concerned about it).  It was not a great task for me to have to start over and greet her as she wished, yet at the same time, I still was a bit taken aback that she felt it necessary to not proceed until things had gone according to what she expected.  Would it really have been that difficult for HER to simply recognize I am a tourist not from her culture, and as such, just provide assistance without bringing in such conflict?

This made me begin to think about how one shows respect for another person’s culture, and even more importantly, how you decide whose culture to respect.  How do you decide in my situation, who is in the right - the Black lady or me?  After heated discussion with my friend, who was more on the side of the South African woman, we came to the general conclusion that it depends on whose cultural sphere you are in.  If a Black South African lady is in America, it is reasonable to expect that lady to behave more or less according to American norms (i.e. less emphasis on greeting) because she is in the American cultural sphere.  By the same token, if I am in a South African village, it is proper to expect me to conduct myself according to Black South African norms (i.e. more emphasis on greeting) because I am in the Black South African cultural sphere.  The problem lies in how you determine the cultural sphere you’re in.

Most times, the first thing people look to to assign cultural spheres is country.  Within even a country, though, as I mentioned above, you can find differing cultures, meaning further division of cultural spheres.  You would, therefore, assume that if a person was in the Northern United States they would follow the ways of the North, and if they were in the Southern United States, they would follow the ways of the North.  Equivalently, the same could be said for the different parts of South Africa where Tswana, Venda, Pedi, etc. predominate. 

Even those statements are not sufficient, however, because a person’s family and house provide yet another sphere.  Even if a Black South African family is living in America, if an American goes over to their house for dinner, I don’t think it is out of line to expect the American to generally follow the cultural rules in that house.  The same for a Black South African who goes to dine with an American family living in a South African village.  A person is entitled to their own cultural sphere within their home even if it is at odds with the country or area of that country in which that home is located.

Another exception would be if a person’s values were not only cultural but also moral.  For example, even if a Muslim Pakistani living in America came to dinner at an American family’s house, you would not expect the Pakistani to join the family in eating pork because it is against his religion.  Regardless of the cultural sphere one is in, if a cultural practice is considered WRONG to another person rather than just different, that person should not be required to partake in the activity.  Only if there is a conflict between both the parties, such that their morals actually conflict, with no middle ground, is there a true dilemma.  An example would be if an American were living in a radical Middle Eastern country where educating his daughter was thought to be wrong.  The Middle Easterner might say it is wrong to offer education to women, while the American would say it is wrong to NOT offer education to women.  In that instance, one would have to actually make a moral judgment of one view being superior to another and accept that which was found to be superior.

Such an exception is hopefully going to be few far and between.  A situation like the one I encountered today, however, is unfortunately probably going to be encountered more than one would like.  In that instance, you had two cultural spheres that were actually overlapping each other.  Given the juxtaposition of Blacks and Whites in South Africa, and the growing mixing of cultures and races as a result of globalization, this is something that will continually be an issue.  In this case, a Black South African woman on the street of a modern city founded by Afrikaners but with a majority Black population.  What is the cultural sphere?  Is it the Black South African’s because people with her culture predominate?  Is it the Afrikaner culture because it is a modern city originally founded on Afrikaner values?  It was this question that my friend and I could not agree on.  I felt that given we were not in a rural village but rather in a modern city, the values associated with modern cities, in which greeting in the traditional fashion is not stressed, should take priority.  My friend felt that because the Blacks were the majority, it was beholden to us to follow their cultural norms.

Admittedly, these are questions that I do not hold all the answers to, but ones I will continue asking.  I am interested to hear what others think.