Where can I buy some color-blind sunglasses?

In today’s society, you hear it often said that one should be color-blind i.e. you shouldn’t notice the color of someone’s skin.  The meaning of the argument is of course that the shade of one’s complexion should not affect the way that you treat and interact with that person.  Race should be something as unimportant as what the opposing person’s favorite flavor of ice cream is.  Despite such well-intentioned statements, however, I am coming to believe that it is simply impossible to achieve.  Regardless of how much you might try to avoid recognizing someone else’s appearance, you inevitably do take note.  I find it quite silly when I hear statements like “Oh, I didn’t realize he was black.”  BS, you didn’t.  The color of his skin may not have affected your attitude towards him at all, but you sure as hell noticed that his skin was dark.

The reason I say this is that I wish I could be color-blind, but race is simply such a visible aspect of a person, there seems no avoiding it unless someone is dressed in full winter gear with accompanying ski mask.  Such a thought has occurred to me before during my time here in South Africa, but it was highlighted yet again today.

After finishing my day at the local high school, I headed over to the primary school where I serve as an assistant coach and trainer in the afternoon for the boys’ soccer team.  When I arrived, there was a cute little Afrikaner couple at the grounds who had been called to help repair the field’s sprinkler system.  As I have mentioned in previous blog posts, white people simply do not go into the township where I live, so the sight of another set of Caucasians was unusual to say the least.  I chatted with them a bit, and they were friendly and gracious, as all the Afrikaners I have met so far have been.  What absolutely floored me, though, was how my body automatically experienced a sense of relaxation and comfort about being around others with white skin.  To avoid any misunderstandings, I want to stress that I am very comfortable where I am living and love being around all of the people I interact with, despite my fair skin making me stand out.  Yet when I encountered these other whites, a sense of even greater ease immediately passed over me.  Here were two people who have a different native language, a different culture, and an entirely different life experience.  Really, the only thing we have in common is that we are both descended from Europeans, yet somehow the presence of others with light skin told my body’s natural impulses that I was among friends.

I had already felt similar sensations in my past trips to Pretoria, which has a large, perhaps even majority, white population.  Simply being around people who look like me, especially after being the odd race out for weeks, was scaryingly soothing.  It made me wonder if perhaps I have some underlying misgivings about blacks or some other subconscious objection.  Upon reflection, though, I really doubt it.  I think that it is simply human nature to gravitate to that which is like you because it is familiar.

Such events have really started to give me a better grip on what minorities in America experience every day.  In the States, you will often notice that Blacks, Hispanics, people of Asian descent, etc., will tend to hang out with and congregate primarily with people of similar race or ethnicity.  I have heard this openly criticized by some whites saying that they should not separate themselves in such a way and that such segregation only reinforces an “us vs. them” mentality.  There might be some truth to such comments, but at the same time, I think the various groupings are a result of this same emotion that I am experiencing here in South Africa.  It is not that people always want to make a conscious statement that they are different from you, it is just that that they go where they feel most comfortable.

I have also heard black people in America express the complaint that, being a minority in many situations, they feel they are always being looked at, and that such attention can become tiresome.  White Americans may retort that such attention is most times probably not racist and that such stares might be quite unconscious.  The interesting thing I have found being a minority in South Africa is that regardless of whether the attention is positive or negative, conscious or unconscious, it still becomes irritating.  Every time I step out of my door, I can see that people are gawking.  I mean, shoot, if I were a black South African, and I saw a tall, lanky white dude cruising around my township, I’d stare too.  I know that the attention is more out of interest and confusion than anything else, but despite this, there are times when I just wish I could blend in.  Among Afrikaners, I really can blend in, which probably further explains my body’s natural feeling of comfort around South Africa’s white tribe.

None of this is to say that I am going to start going out of my way to hang out with Afrikaners to the exclusion of black South Africans.  I think part of my role here is indeed to be the one that’s different in order to show that the coexistence of such varying people is not only possible but actually constructive.  And like I mentioned before, I am absolutely loving almost everything about my life here in the township, so it is not the case that I am uncomfortable or dislike my situation.  This is simply an acknowledgment that all over the world, birds of a feather flock together.  Beginning any conversation regarding race and integration with that understanding will go a long way.