Today, I had a funny incident at my high school that once again reminded me that I am indeed a stranger in a foreign land, no matter how well I think I am fitting in. In the mornings whenever I come in, I usually go to the staff room, say hello to the people who look up from their work when I enter, and then I take my seat and immediately begin reviewing the material that will be taught in the economics classes for that day. Today, though, after having been seated for a few minutes, one of the male teachers, who is apparently also the head of the teacher’s committee, asked if he could see me outside of the school for a second. I said, “Sure”, while at the same time thinking that this could not be good. In my head I quickly ran through all of my actions within the past several days to see if there was anything that I might be in trouble for. There was nothing I could remember that I thought could possibly be misinterpreted or taken as offensive.
Well, as it turns out, it wasn’t so much anything I had done, as what I had not done. The teacher informed me that some of the other teachers had been complaining that I just came in and sat down at my desk every day and began my work without greeting them. Here I was doing everything I could to be friendly, greeting every person I passed on the street or even ever made eye contact with, but apparently even that was not sufficient. Upon my entrance to the staff lounge, the teachers were somewhat taken aback that I only greeted a few people individually who had looked up when I arrived, rather than having greeted the entire room.
This teacher who informed me, to his credit, was very diplomatic about the whole thing, having pulled me aside to talk to me privately, and he assured me that he knew that it was simply a matter of cultural differences. The interesting thing about it all is that he told me none of the male teachers had been bothered by it, but several of the female teachers had expressed concern. That South African ladies place a little more importance on being greeted than South African men was later confirmed by another colleague. I’d like to think that the women teachers simply like to be said “Hello” to by the devilishly handsome young American. Whatever the case, I asked that the teacher please express my apologies to all those who might have taken offense, and that he also please let them know that it was by no means my intention to rudely ignore anyone. I guaranteed that from now on, I would greet the entire room, especially the female teachers, whenever I arrive in the mornings.
Later on, one of the ladies who had heard about the situation, told me that she had had a daughter who she sent to school in the more urbanized and cosmopolitan Gauteng province. Whenever the daughter returned home after living the more developed lifestyle, her family expressed the exact same indignation that she did not properly greet everyone upon entering a room. The daughter’s response (keep in mind that she too was black) was “Oh, you Africans.” This made me feel a bit better in that this specific faux pas is one committed by other people who have lived outside of traditional African culture.
All in all, not the type of experience you’re hoping for on a Wednesday morning, but a learning one all the same. Perhaps, it’s good for me to get knocked down every now and again just to remind me that I may not always be as smooth and sensitive as I imagine myself to be. Oh well, I guess even a cosmopolitan Texan makes some mistakes every now and again.
I recently read a book about an American in Morocco. He smiled at a lady and her daughter as they walked down to the creek. Later he was nearly lynched by the villagers for looking at their women. The key to cultural adjustment is "learn very quickly".
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